


2 Different Couches

by EvergreenHRC



Category: Billary - Fandom, Political RPF, Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 07:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10804689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvergreenHRC/pseuds/EvergreenHRC
Summary: He was on the couch again just like he was 18 years ago.





	2 Different Couches

This was not the first time Bill Clinton was laying on a couch, kicked out of his bed and looking up at the ceiling contemplating his stupid mistakes and actions.

This time laying mere feet away from the one he had broken yet again, just like he had done 18 years before only this time it was public and for the whole world to see. It was a hot August night in Washington, D.C. and just 18 hours ago he revealed his lie to the one person he counted on for so much. He knew what he had done this time was different, he knew that this time he may have hurt her beyond repair.

Laying in his boxer shorts with no shirt, hands resting behind his head, he could hear the gut wrenching and heart breaking sobs of the woman who gave up so much of herself to stand by him. The woman who gave herself to him unselfishly. The woman who gave him the greatest gift he ever received, a daughter that was and is the spitting image of him, with the quick wit and sharp mind of her mother. The woman who threw herself on a bed of nails for him time and time again. The only woman he ever truly loved. That strong woman now in the next room, broken as never before, all because of him.

His mind is taken back to the summer of 1980, only a few months removed from his reelection loss . She pushed him, she tried everything she could think of to pull her husband up and out of his depression. Losing the governorship had pulled him into darkness. He was failing to stand on his feet and move forward, she was already in the next gear. "Here's what we're going to do, we will get a house, you'll get a job and we will have some time together and in 2 years you'll run again." She said it just moments after he conceded, he didn't really want to hear it. It could have been the denial or the still fresh sting of rejection. He wanted to crawl in a hole and wallow in self pity but his strong wife wouldn't allow it.

Weeks and weeks were consumed with him depressed and his strong wife not just trying to take care of their infant daughter but him as well.

They found a house, it was a cute Victorian style home. Perfect size for their little family. They would convert the attic for Chelsea's nursery and the master bedroom was perfect size and it had an en suite. When they took the initial tour of the home with their real estate agent, Bill whispered into his wife's ear about how the island in the middle of the kitchen would get many miles of her ass on it. She blushed and for a brief moment she felt her husband had returned.

It didn't last long, he would sink away again, and at times whether he knew he was doing it or not he would push his wife away. He would block her out. At first it was his shame of losing, he didn't handle rejection well and the loss caused him to feel like a failure. Then he would block her out, like a petulant child who doesn't want to take out the garbage. Her upbringing was a stern one, her father would push her to always be better. "Daddy look I got all A's on my report card." So young and proud of her accomplishments. "That must be an easy school." He replied not at all impressed with his only daughter and eldest child's hard work. Always pushing through was what she was raised to do. So when it came to times when Bill was in his dark place she tried to push him out. Not because she wanted to hurt him or be hard on him, because she believed in him and what he could accomplish with his brilliant mind.

Bill often never saw it that way, during those dark days after losing the election he saw it as nagging. He never realized that she was trying the only way she knew how to make him see his true worth. So he lashed out, just like he had when she was in Washington after law school working on the Impeachment Committee of Richard M. Nixon. The summer before he had asked her to marry him while they took a trip to England, she said "No, not right now." Not because she didn't want to marry Bill Clinton but because she needed to figure out her own path before she took the leap. She wanted to find her own voice and be a force for change. Just before she joined the Impeachment Committee he asked her again and they answer was still the same. He was in Arkansas running for Congress at the time and he missed her terribly and the distance and space between them was too much. So he fell back into his pattern of self destruction, instead of dealing with his internal issues he buried them deep and lashed out. He started fooling around with a young college student that was helping with his campaign, when she found out she was so many emotions all in one.

It would happen again, this time they were married and his sin was a violation of their vows to each other. After a particularly hard day at work and then a hard time when he got home, after an massive argument he left the house to get some air. He met this one at a bar, a divorcée with long red hair and even longer legs. He approached her and before he knew it they were in a hotel room, in the thrusts of passion. His guilt was not immediate, in fact the guilt wouldn't come for several months after that first time. He knew what he was doing was wrong but the constant pressure from his wife would push that guilt aside. One night after a particularly heavy fight he screamed at her, "I want a damn divorce." When the words reached her ears it was as if someone had sucked the wind right out of her lungs.

The tears flew so heavy down her cheeks, the man she was crazy about, the man she would and did give up so much for, the man that took her breath away in the courtyard of the Yale Art Gallery... was now the man who was killing her slowly. "Why would you say that Bill?" She doesn't remember saying it but she wasn't remotely prepared for his answer. "You have been on me so damn hard, it's as if nothing I do is good enough for you. You want me to be perfect and I'm never going to be that for you." All she could do was shake her head in disbelief. Her voice was so weak and she wasn't entirely sure how she was still standing. "I never asked you to be perfect, Bill. I didn't realize you thought so little of me." What came next should have all but killed her, he lost all concussion of the pain she was experiencing and went for the jugular. "Yeah well you sure act like you expect me to be perfect. I met someone who doesn't expect me to be at all perfect just myself, she let's me be imperfect."

The punch. It hit her harder than the first. She wasn't a young fresh Yale graduate working in Washington who was single this time. She was the former First Lady of Arkansas, the mother of his daughter and his wife now. Her knees gave out and she fell to the floor, her tears were flowing like a massive waterfall. She felt empty and hollowness in the pit of her stomach and she could of sworn she actually felt her heart break in half. She loved this man more than anything else, she loved him the moment they met, the moment they moved in together at Yale, the moment they went to England, the moment he bought that house in Fayetteville and asked her for the third time to be his wife and she said yes, she loved him the moment they said "I Do" in that same home on October 11th, 1975, the moment they went away to Bermuda to try and relax from the pressure and stress of trying so hard to have a baby but not being fortunate enough until that trip, the moment he talked his way into the delivery room with her, the moment he held his daughter for the first time, and yes she loved him even in the hard and bad times. But this... this was a moment she never saw coming.

He stood there and watched her at first, maybe feeling some satisfaction from her pain but only for a brief moment. She was sobbing and his chest was being crushed by the weight of his sin. He loved her, and hurting her was never his intention from the start when he met the red haired woman. He tried to walk toward her, to hold her and sooth the pain he caused but she wouldn't allow it. "Don't you dare come near me and don't you dare touch me." Her words were cold her voice trembling and weak. "I may be a lot of things Bill, I may not be easy to love, but I don't deserve this hurt." Somehow she stood up and began to make her way up the back staircase. He stared at her, unable to move, ashamed of what he had just done to the only woman that loved him unconditionally. "I don't want to see you for a while." She continued up the stairs and left him there alone. Once she was out of view he cried. He didn't understand why he did what he did to her, he laid on the couch staring at the ceiling, asking himself over and over why he did it and getting frustrated at himself for not finding the answer.

As he now laid on a different sofa, in a different house, the White House he had the same unanswered question. Only this time he was determined to find out the answer. In a few short hours their counselor would begin the process of helping them heal from years and years of wounds inflicted on them by him.

Meanwhile in the next room over, Hillary Rodham Clinton was yet again crying a waterfall of tears as she fell asleep in an empty bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks all for reading this One Shot, it's extremely hard for me to write about Bill's transgressions because I still can feel her pain and so with this I tried my best to convey that.
> 
> I promise I will update Agent 0042 soon, I hit a bit of a creative wall with the story. I have to spend the weekend watching some James Bond movies, very hard because I work 2 jobs but I do promise to update it soon.
> 
> As always thanks for reading and I look forward to the feedback.


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